英語相互添削サイト「Lang-8」一年分の総まとめ（英語・仕事編）

英語相互添削サイト「Lang-8」の一年分の総まとめとして、一年間で投稿した約300件の英作文の中から一部を抜粋してカテゴリ別に紹介しています。これまでの添削結果を一旦整理して、再度見直すことで理解を定着させるのが目的でもあります。

前回までのまとめは、こちら。

一年間で、（300件の投稿のうち約9割の）270回以上添削されてきたわけですが、その中でも「カンマ」と「接続詞」の部分は、慣れというか「感覚」が必要だなと感じました。日本人にはなかなか馴染めない感覚というか。

「カンマ」とは例えば、

「文A, and 文B」や「文A, but 文B」のように「,」を打つかどうか

「接続詞」とは例えば、

「文A. But, 文B」は OK かどうか

といったものなのですが、ぶっちゃけ「カンマを付けるかどうか」は人それぞれのように感じています。しかしながら、「接続詞」の方はシビアにツッコミが来ることが多かったです。

そんな折、添削してくれた外国人から、以下のようなウェブサイトを紹介してもらいました。高校受検向けのサイトですが、知りたいことがよくまとまっていると思います。

「文頭では使わない方がいい接続詞について - EVERES FAQ」より

■and，but，so
「書き言葉」を前提とした英作文では，
　△　I like apples. But I don't like oranges.
のようにBut～.で始まる英文は避けた方がよいです。

したがって，2つの文を1つにつなげて，
　○ I like apples but I don't like oranges.
としましょう。
なお、butの前にカンマ<,>はあってもなくてもOKです。

andやsoも同様の扱いとなります。
　△　I went to the library. And I read a book there.
　○　I went to the library and (I) read a book there.
　△　I was tired. So I went to bed early.
　○　I was tired, so I went to bed early.

ただし，対話文のように「話し言葉」を前提とした場合は
And ～.　But～.　So～.　は可能です。
And, ～.　But, ～.　So, ～.も誤りではありませんが，
高校受験の英作文ではカンマ<,>を伴わない使用例が多いです。
ですから，And ～.　But～.　So～.で書くことをお勧めします。

■becauseについて
and・but・soと同様に，「書き言葉」を前提とした英作文では，
　△　I read the book. Because it is interesting.　
のように，Because～.で始まる英文は避けた方がよいです。

したがって，
　○　I read the book because it is interesting.
としましょう。

なお，becauseの直前にカンマ<,>はつけませんので注意してください。
※カンマ<,>のある用例も存在しますが，ごく限られた場合のみで高校受験の英作文では推奨できません。

対話文のように「話し言葉」を前提とした場合は
Because ～.は可能です。
Because, ～.は誤りですので気を付けてください。
※こちらもカンマ<,>のある用例も存在しますが，ごく限られた場合のみで
　英作文では推奨できません。

＊これらの表現は日本語訳から英語訳するときに文頭に置きがちなので気をつけてください。
なお，英作文では，日本語と違い接続詞がなくても前後の文脈に誤りがなければ，
得点となるので，どうしても２文に分けたい場合はbecauseなどは書かなくても大丈夫です。

また、このように教えてくれた人もいました。

Just let you know. Growing up as a native English speaker, teachers teach children to not start sentences with And, Because, and But. Until you are in University you can use "Because, and But" at beginning of sentence. I think "And" as well but I never do because its very awkward for myself to see it and I rarely see native English speakers start with it; even though, ordinary speech you will hear it. Just try to avoid starting sentences with And.

英語のネイティブスピーカーは子供の頃に先生から、「And」「Because」「But」で文章を始めないようにと教えられます。大学生までは、文章の始めに「Because」や「But」を使ったりします。「And」も同じだとは思うのですが、私の場合は、自分が見て不恰好に感じるし、ネイティブスピーカーが「Amd」で文章を始めるのをめったに見ないので、絶対に文章の始まりでは使ったりしません。たとえ日常会話でそういうのを聞いたとしても。「And」を文頭で使わないようにしてみてくださいね。

慣れないとなかなか難しいですよね。

さて今回は、英語に関するものや、仕事の内容をテーマにしたものを紹介します。

英語

I sometimes update English articles on our website.

May 17, 2013

私は会社のウェブサイトの記事をときどき更新するのですが、場合によっては英語で書いています。

I sometimes update the articles, which are written in English in some situations, on our company's website.

(No correction needed.)

あと、もちろん Twitter も。

And of course tweets too.

(No correction needed.)

まだ英語で文章を書くのに慣れていないので、英語の記事を書くのに苦労します。

I still feel difficulty when writing them because I don't get used to it.

I still have some difficulty when I write them because I am not used to writing in English.

Writing English emails

Apr 17, 2013

仕事で海外のお客様にメールをする機会がだんだん増えてきています。

The opportunity to email overseas customers has been gradually increasing in my work.

(No correction needed.)

しかしながら、あまり英語のメール文を書くのに慣れていないので、いつも苦労しています。

However, because I'm not very used to writing English emails, I always have difficulty with it.

However, because I'm not really used to writing English emails, I always have difficulty with it.

だから、1つのメールを書くのに1時間くらいかかることもよくあるのです。

Therefore it often takes about an hour for me to write just one email.

(No correction needed.)

繰り返し何度もやることが上達への近道だと思うので、いっぱい練習しようと思います。

I think trying repeatedly is the best recipe for improvement, so I'll keep practicing a lot

I think doing it repeatedly is the best recipe for improvement, so I'll keep practicing a lot.

Business e-mail to Czech Republic

Sep 15, 2013

仕事で、チェコのお客さんにメールを書く機会がありました。

I had a chance to write an e-mail to the client in Czech Republic on business.

I had a chance to write an e-mail to a client in Czech Republic at work.

Lang-8 でのライティングの練習が、すごく役に立ちました。

The writing practice on Lang-8 was very helpful to me.

(No correction needed.)

しかし、英語のビジネスメールを書くのに慣れていないため、書くのに時間が掛かってしまいます。

But, I haven't got used to writing English business e-mails, so it took much time.

But, I'm still not used to writing English business e-mails, so it took a long time.

もっと練習が必要です。

I need more practice.

(No correction needed.)

An online English conversation school

Dec 13, 2013

来月1月に海外出張に行けるかもしれないので、オンライン英会話スクールを再開することを検討しています。

I'm thinking about restarting an online English conversation school, because I may be able to go overseas on a business trip next January.

I'm thinking about restarting lessons with an online English conversation school, because I may be able to go overseas on a business trip next January.

以前に一年間ほぼ毎日、英会話スクールをしていたのですが、画期的なサービスだと実感していました。

I had been having it almost everyday for a year, and I realized it an epoch-making service.

I had been taking lessons every day for almost a year, and I realized it was an epoch-making service.

加えて、対面式の英会話スクールよりもずっと費用が安かったのです。

Plus, it costed much lower than a real conversation school.

Plus, it cost much less than a real conversation school.

今、どのオンラインスクールにするか迷っているところです。

I'm wondering what online school is the best now.

I'm wondering which online school is the best now.

I'm trying to improve conversing in English.

Dec 17, 2013

来月、ある人とイスタンブールで仕事の打ち合わせを予定しています。

I will have a business meeting with a person in Istanbul next month.

(No correction needed.)

彼も私と同じように英語が得意ではありません。いずれも英語が外国語になるからです。

He is not very good at English as I am because we speak English as the second language.

He is not very good at English, just like me, because we both speak English as a second language.

If "the second object" is specific and the object IS unique, then "the" is required. However, if the second object is a general type (it is not unique, but rather "one of many possible"), then "a" may be required ("a second object").
Example quotation from Wikipedia:
"English as a second language (ESL) is the use or study of English by speakers with different native languages."
I think your use of "second language" matches the example above. Again, I might be mistaken.
Please note that my correction is just a guess at your intended meaning, because you have not given a Japanese version of your sentence.

打ち合わせが成功するよう、英会話スキルを伸ばそうと努力しているところです。

Now I'm trying to improve my conversation skill in English to lead the meeting successfully.

~~Now~~ I'm trying to improve conversing in English to make the meeting successful.

"English skill" may be popular among Japanese speakers of English, but I think "fluency" is more natural in this context.

I took four English lessons today.

Jan 13, 2014

今日はトルコへ行く前の最後の休日だったので、できるだけ多くのオンライン英会話レッスンを受けてみることにしました。

Because today is the last holiday before the trip to Turkey, I tried to take as many lessons of online English school as possible.

Because today is the last holiday before the trip to Turkey, I tried to take as many online lessons as possible.

Keep it short, you could also use "lessons on " in general

夕方までに4回のレッスンを受けた後、20時からのレッスンの予約をしました。

After I took four lessons until this evening, I booked another lesson which starts at 20:00 pm.

After I took four lessons before the evening, I booked another lesson starting at 20:00 pm.

you could also replace 20:00 pm with eight.

It's either 20:00 or 8:00 p.m. (eight in the afternoon), so you could also say:
"After I took four lessons in the afternoon, I booked another lesson starting at 8:00 p.m. tonight."

しかしながら、荷物の準備に没頭していたので、レッスンのことをすっかり忘れてしまっていました。

However, I missed it because I was buried in preparing a baggage.

However, I missed it because I was busy packing my baggage.

Or were you literally buried under baggage? That's a scary thought.

It's "luggage" in British English and "baggage" in American English.

もったいないことをしたなぁ。

What a waste!

What a shame!

I guess it was more about feeling ashamed, rather than a significant waste of money or opportunity. Just a guess, but packing too many things could cost you much more for excess luggage at the airport.

My opportunities for using English

Feb 10, 2014

海外出張から帰ってきてから、英語を使う機会がますます増えてきています。

I've had more and more opportunities to use English after my overseas business trip.

(No correction needed.)

例えば、海外のお客さんにメールを書いたり、新しい友人のFacebookをチェックしたり。

For example, there are writing emails to our overseas customers, checking new friends' Facebook, and so on.

For example, there are writing emails to our overseas customers, checking new friends' Facebook entries, and so on.

これは私にとっては好ましい傾向です。

It's a favorable trend for me.

(No correction needed.)

Lang-8を初めてもうすぐ1年になりますが、この経験がすごく役に立っています。

It has been almost a year since I started Lang-8, and it was great help to me.

It has been almost a year since I started Lang-8, and it has been a great help to me.

仕事

A business trip to San Francisco

Mar 16, 2013

一年前、サン・フランシスコに出張に行きました。

I went to San Francisco on business a year ago.

(No correction needed.)

そこで大きなビジネスイベントがあり、上司が連れて行ってくれたのでした。

The big business event was held, and my boss took me there.

A big business event was being held and my boss took me there.

アメリカ本土へ行ったのはそれが初めてでした。

It was my first time to visit the mainland of the United States.

It was my first time visiting the mainland of the United States.

自分の英語力の無さにがっかりでした。

I was shocked by my lack of English skill.

(No correction needed.)

アメリカ人はとても早口で話すので、何を言っているのかほとんど分かりませんでした。

Because Americans speak so fast and I couldn't barely make out what they said.

(No correction needed.)

たった今、4月に同じようなイベントが開催されるのを見つけました。

Now, I found the similar event will be held on April.

Now, I found that a similar event is being held on April.

上司にそのことを話して参加したいと手を挙げたのですが、予算不足で許可が下りませんでした。

I talked it to my boss and raised my hand to attend it. But I was not permitted due to a lack of budget.

I talked about it to my boss and raised my hand to attend it, but I was not permitted due to a lack of budget.

You should combine this sentence with the one above it.

My office

Apr 4, 2013

私の会社は秋葉原にありますが、いつもは別の現場に通っています。

My office is located at Akihabara, but I always go to work at the other office.

(No correction needed.)

電車で15分ほど離れています。

It's apart from 15 mins by train.

These two offices are 15 mins apart by train.

2週間に一度は私の会社には帰って会議をします。

I go back to my office and have a meeting every two weeks.

(No correction needed.)

Using Adobe Illustrator

Sep 3, 2013

チラシとか何かのデザインをするために、ときどき Adobe Illustrator を使います。

I sometimes use Adobe Illustrator to design something like a flyer.

I sometimes use Adobe Illustrator to design something, for example a flyer.

でもまだ使い慣れていないので、いつも試行錯誤で学んでいます。

But I don't get used to it, so I always learn by trial and error.

However, I haven't got used to it yet, so I always learn by trial and error.

困ったときは、よくハウツー・サイトで解決方法を探します。

I often search for solutions on the how-to sites when I have troubles.

I often search for solutions on ~~the~~ how-to sites when I have problems.

"Problems" are more natural when you talk about many of them, and each of them is something you can solve or fix separately (you can count them too). I would say "trouble" is more like water or wisdom - it is usually uncountable, so you should not use "troubles" unless you have a very good reason to do so.
More info on uncountable & countable nature of "trouble":
http://www.macmillandictionary.com/dictionary/british/trouble
http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/trouble_1

About my work

Sep 19, 2013

私はもう10年以上、IT業界で働いています。

I've been working in the IT industry for over ten years.

(No correction needed.)

小さな会社のシステム開発部門のマネージャをしています。

I have a position of a director of System Solution Department in a small company.

I am the director of of the System Solution Department in a small company.

しかしながら、会社の方針に基づいて、いつもは社外に派遣で出ています。

However, based on our company's policy, I'm usually on loan to the other company.

However, based on our company's policy, I'm usually being hired out by other companies.

秋葉原の自社には、週に一度の定例会議のために帰ってきます。

I go back to our own office, located at Akihabara, for a regular meeting once a week.

I go back to our own office, located in Akihabara, for a regular meeting once a week.

このように、私は仕事上、二つの違った顔を持っているのです。

Thus, I have two different faces at work.

(No correction needed.)

About a large-scale IT project

Sep 20, 2013

私はIT業界でシステムエンジニアとして長いキャリアがあります。

I have a long career as a system engineer in the IT industry.

I have a long career as a systems engineer in the IT industry.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systems_engineering

一般的に、大きなプロジェクトの場合は、たくさんのプログラマやシステムエンジニアがいろいろな会社から一時的に借り出されます。

Generally, a lot of programmers and system engineers are temporally hired out from various companies in case of a big project.

Generally, a lot of programmers and systems engineers are temporarily hired out from various companies in the case of a big project.

Temporary / temporarily: for a while, as in "A temporary arrangement is an arrangement that is made temporarily."
Temporal / temporally: of or relating to time, as in "A temporal anomaly is an anomaly that occurs temporally."

私はこれまで大きなプロジェクトをいくつか経験してきましたが、炎上していることがよくありました。

I've also experienced some big projects, but they often burst into flames.

I've also experienced some large-scale projects, but they often burst into flames.

The sentence as it stands is perfectly grammatical, but "big" is a rather simple word that is generally avoided by careful writers, as there is almost always a better alternative. Projects are often referred to as being "large-scale", for example, as in "I've also experienced some large-scale projects."

当時は地獄のようでした。

It was like hell at that time.

It was like hell at the time

Perfectly grammatical, although "It was like hell at the time" seems more natural here.

About my artwork in a certain flyer

Sep 23, 2013

チラシの図柄作成が終わりました。

I've finished designing the artwork in a flyer.

(No correction needed.)

それは、10月のあるイベントでスコアシートとして使われる予定です。

It will be used as a score sheet in a certain event in October.

(No correction needed.)

何かをデザインするときはいつも Adobe Illustrator を使いますが、まだ使い慣れてはいません。

I always use Adobe Illustrator to design something, but I haven't got used it yet.

I always use Adobe Illustrator to design something, but I haven't ~~got~~ used it yet.

だから、チラシをデザインするにしても、プロが同じことをやれば数時間で終わるところを、私がやると数日掛かってしまいます。

So, it takes a couple of days for me to design a flyer, while it takes a couple of hours for a professional to do the same.

So, it takes a couple of days for me to design a flyer, while it takes only a couple of hours for a professional to do the same.

My Business Trip Was Approved.

Dec 19, 2013

私のイスタンブールへの出張が公式に承認されました。

My business trip to Istanbul was officially approved.

(No correction needed.)

二年前にサン・フランシスコでのテクノロジー・カンファレンスに参加しに行きましたが、これで二度目の海外出張になります。

Two years ago, I went to attend the tech conference in San Francisco, and this is the second time to go abroad on business.

Two years ago, I went to attend the tech conference in San Francisco, and this is the second time to I will go abroad on business.

それから、飛行機のチケットを自分で予約しました。

Then, I booked a flight ticket by myself.

キーパーソンと重要な交渉をしなければいけないので、少し緊張しています。

I'm feeling a little nervous because I have to conduct important negotiations with a key person.

(No correction needed.)

Writing business e-mails in English

Jan 5, 2014

正月休みの間、イスタンブールで一緒に仕事をする重要人物と何度かメールのやり取りをしました。

During New Year holidays, I exchanged a couple of e-mails with the important person who I will work with in Istanbul.

(No correction needed.)

英語でビジネスメールを書くのに慣れていないので、それらのメールを書くのに苦労しました。

I had a hard time writing them because I'm not used to writing business e-mails in English.

(No correction needed.)

最終的に、イスタンブールの打ち合わせ前に事前の合意をすることができました。

Finally, we could create a previous agreement before a meeting in Istanbul.

Finally, we could create an ~~previous~~ agreement before a meeting in Istanbul.

タスクが少し前進しました。

My task went ahead further.

(No correction needed.)

A new project

Feb 16, 2014

来月から新しいITプロジェクトに従事する予定です。

I will become engaged in a new IT project next month.

I will engage in a new IT project next month.

The original sentence is fine, but it is more natural if you don't use "become."

そのプロジェクトは高度な技術スキルが要求されます。

The project requires high-tech skills.

(No correction needed.)

私は10年以上、システムエンジニアとしてやってきているので、ある程度のスキルレベルは持ち合わせています。

I have been working as a system engineer for over 10 years, so I have a certain level of skills.

I have been working as a systems engineer for over 10 years, so I have a certain level of skills.

When we refer to the position of "systems engineer" we always use the plural form.

ITのスキルだけでなく、英語のスキルも活かせると嬉しいです。

I'm happy to exercise not only my IT skills but also my English skills.

(No correction needed.)

Technology skills

Feb 17, 2014

数年前、IPAのプロジェクトマネージャ試験とシステムアーキテクト試験に合格しました。

I passed Project Management Examination and Systems Architect Examination by IPA several years ago.

I passed the Project Management Examination and the Systems Architect Examination by IPA several years ago.

しかしながら、現実のプロジェクトでは、そういった資格よりも実務経験の方が重視されます。

However, in a realistic project, we are required to have practical experience rather than such a certificate.

However, in a realistic project, we are required to have practical experience rather than such a certificates.

常日頃から技術スキルを磨いておかなければいけません。

We need to keep the edge of our technology skills on a regular basis.

We need to keep the edge on our technology skills on a regular basis.

We say "keep the edge on our skills."
This is an idiom that comes from "sharpening the edge of a knife, in order to keep it working like new."
So the analogy is that keeping a sharp edge on a knife is similar to maintaining your skills. If they are maintained properly, they are always ready for use.

私がテクノロジー・カンファレンスによく参加するのは、こういうわけなのです。

This is why I often attend tech conferences.

(No correction needed.)

My career in the IT industry

Feb 18, 2014

私はこれまで、小さいものを含めて20以上のITプロジェクトを経験してきました。

I experienced over twenty IT projects including small ones so far.

(No correction needed.)

その期間は、短いもので1ヶ月、長いもので2年でした。

The shortest one took a month and the longest one took about two years.

(No correction needed.)

それぞれのプロジェクトで、テスター、プログラマ、設計者、システムアーキテクト、プロジェクトマネジャーなど、様々な役割をしてきました。

I played a different role in each project, such as a tester, a programmer, a designer, a systems architect, and a project manager.

(No correction needed.)

新しい何かを作り上げることに取り組んでいるときが一番楽しいです。

I feel most happy when I try to create something new.

(No correction needed.)

I like Python.

Feb 19, 2014

Pythonは人気のあるプログラミング言語の一つで、Googleが積極的に採用していることで有名です。

Python is one of popular programming languages and is famous for being actively adopted by Google.

(No correction needed.)

数年前はJavaでプログラミングをしていましたが、今では主にPythonを使っています。

I used to write a program with Java a few years ago, but I mainly use Python now.

I used to write programs with Java a few years ago, but I mainly use Python now.

It is probably better to say "programs" rather than "a program" here because you are certainly referring to a plural case when you take about your Java experience.

何年もJavaを触っていなかったので、Javaでのコーディング方法をほとんど忘れてしまいました。

I almost forgot how to code with Java because I haven't touched it in years past.

I almost forgot how to code with Java because I haven't touched it in years ~~past~~.

私は、その直感的なコーディングスタイルが理由でPythonが好きです。

like Python because of its intuitive style of coding.

(No correction needed.)

I'm working in a computer-related company.

Feb 20, 2014

私はコンピュータ関連の会社に勤めています。

I'm working in a computer-related company.

(No correction needed.)

主に、Webベースのシステム開発に従事しています。